This morning's Spurgeon sounded like my week. I prayed for that light. I wept in anguish at the dark clouds in my heart. I cried out, "What's going on? Why is this happening?"
Then God in his plan and mercy shone that light into my soul and revealed a wicked idolatry I was embracing. I saw the thing that I was running to for refuge and understood why it wasn't working.
I remembered this past year's study on providence and how God has a plan and path for me. How that path will include trials. Then I saw more clearly his hand on me, leading me out of that darkness and evil I was clinging to.
Thank you God for trials and darkness. They make the reunion and light so much sweeter. And they make your love for me seem so much greater. Thank you for forgiving me again!
Isn't the gospel wonderful?