Okay this may turn into a big history, but I think I need to give some background to why I need to wait and look for the light every day. It may require a few posts. :o)
As one who grew up in a godly home with parents that love the Lord dearly, I was a good, quiet obedient young lady. But all I did was based in my own ways and plans. I didn't know the Lord personally until a month or so before my 16th birthday.
Because of my "good works" before my conversion, I had trouble convincing my friends and pastor I wasn't saved before that time. (My parents, who knew me, were extremely supportive) I even had a couple friends tell me I was lying. My reaction to this was to put up a wall and not let anyone in. This was detrimental to my walk with God, but it was wrong because I didn't find my confidence in God. I was looking to the approval of others.
The wall pretty much summed up my spiritual life until college. It turned into pride and fear. But there was a brief time in the 2 years of college life I saw light and peace and growth. It was during the second year of school that I met Nate. From the time we knew we were to marry God started me on the journey to find my place and righteousness in Christ.