I watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets last night and read 1 John 2 this morning and found an interesting and awakening connection. The connection was with a quote Professor Dumbledore used at the end to explain things to Harry. He said, "It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices."
I have been struggling this week with apathy towards anything that has caused me to feel overwhelmed (and that is basically everything this week). One of my biggest struggles is I run away from conflict in my mind. This is a sin and I know it is wrong. But it is my extreme response to things. I don't fight and I don't run away by doing things, I find I just ignore them.
But I couldn't get that quote out of my head last night. This morning it was still fresh in my mind - about the only thing in my mind. Then I picked up my Bible and starting reading in 1 John and it hit me. I was choosing to run away from this. This response might be an instinct, but I can choose to respond that way or not. The connector to that was the list of the things of this world: For all that is in the world - the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride in possessions - is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
Doing the will of God is a choice I have to make. It was a choice bought for me by Christ on the cross. When I don't choose to seek God's help in those overwhelming situations I choose to follow my own desires for peace; and that is following the desires of the world. God gave me his power in the Spirit and I chose to use my own power. Therefore, the result was an uncaring, unkind wife and mother who didn't want to fight anymore.
God woke me up; he reminded me that my choices to do his will are what the 'fight of faith' is all about. Then he gave me a crazy day! So...
Lord, help me to remember this. Please help me to trust you and choose you today. I know my circumstances are busy and my kids are not listening, but you are here and want to help if I only just ask. Thank you for your power and love you have given me. Use it in me today and in the future as the stuggles come. In Jesus' name, Amen.