Seeing light thru' tears...

I realize I have been posting a lot about what God is teaching me, and grand thoughts and meditations. But my life is mostly consumed with lesser thoughts and teaching kids and making meals and cleaning messes. So in the midst of that how do these grand thoughts help me? Do I really let God use them in day-to-day life?

God answered those questions yesterday. We had taken a break from school to take a walk and clear our heads (well, maybe it was more for me than the kids). But the whole 5 blocks we walked were filled with fighting and disobedience and frustration. When we came home I had to send the boys up to their rooms for punishment. I went up to talk to them about their behavior; 10 minutes later Nienna showed up in their room with just a pair of pants on and asking for my help with something downstairs. I finished quickly with the boys and followed Nienna down to help her. To my surprise I found a cup tipped over and half of the kitchen floor covered with milk. It seems she tried to fill a cup with a full gallon of milk. It hadn't worked very well!

In that moment I just wanted to scream... but all that came out was a quiet, "Nienna, go upstairs and change, please." I grab the few towels she had gotten out to clean her mess up with and started to wipe the floor. But I didn't get very far and I just started to cry and pray, "I can't do this God. I can't do this.".

Then God brought to mind what he has been teaching me through the biographies and the recent Spurgeon Morning and Evenings I had read and I remembered that God was still with me. He showed me where his light was still shining, even thru' the tears that were still on my face.

He had given me a wonderful opportunity to share the gospel with my boys concerning the sin they had shown on our walk. He showed me how strong he was when he helped me not be angry towards my children in that ciaos. He reminded me that the suffering I was experiencing was a result of the path he had me on. It was for my good and wasn't as bad as other things I had gone through as a mom. He had sustained me in the past and he would sustain me now!

That is when the tears stopped and the peace came. So now I was able to clean up my kitchen and get back to school and life for the rest of the day.

I am so glad I have God as my friend. I don't know how other moms can get through a day without him. I know I can't!!