June 12, 2008

Further testing...

Last night as I was getting ready for bed I was watching weather updates on the floods and tornadoes in the area. For some reason I couldn't get fear of being hurt out of my mind. It just kept haunting me and keeping me from sleep. I started praying and asking God to protect my kids as I know they don't trust him yet. Then thoughts of heaven and what it would be like were swirling through my mind. I just kept going back and forth from fear to calming thoughts and fighting with my mind to trust God's plan and power. I was trying to remember verses and songs that would calm me and let me sleep, but nothing was working.

I was close to having an anxiety attack, then all of a sudden a huge bolt of lightening followed by the loudest crack of thunder I have ever heard shocked me to my core. Then for no reason I was calm.

My reaction made me smile because I realized that God decided to show me I was panicking for no reason and He was in control. It's like He just said, "That's enough Gwyn, now go to sleep.". Amazingly I was asleep in a couple of minutes and slept well the rest of the night and there was no tornado after all.

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